I lived with a monster once
without quite knowing it

My suspicions were drawn
on shaky lines
sneaking about on tip-toed feet

His attacks were just jokes -
dismissive
belittling
insulting jokes

I seethed and I cried and,
maybe just a little,
I died

Wishing on distant stars
to take me away to distant shores
where I
would be free

And I thought
it was fine
that I could just
grin and bear it

But she told me the truth
of what he'd done
of who he was
the monster, that horrible wretch

And I could grin and bear it
no longer

Hate
rage
disgust
filled me

Looking at him now
makes me nauseous
and furious
at the same time

I am scared of that monster
with whom I once shared a home
scared of his temper, of his wrath
and I just want to be left alone

I despise that man
who violated her so
hurt her
terrified her
wanted to take her as his own

I live with that monster no longer
I have no more smiles for that loathsome,
vile villain
no more laughter
no more tears

I know the truth now
Even if he doesn't know I know it

I am done pretending
done forgetting the pain and the misery

Now I just want the monster slain