I'm safe here
My past is not It's full of you.
Tainted. Sad. Unfair.
I liked those memories.
I held them close
I did not see I was being deceived
By you. By me.

Examples of this pulse through these memories
And it sticks to my chest and my hands as I try to push them away.
No, OK? NO.
You will not take these memories away from me.
I will not rid myself of them
They are mine as much as yours.
And I don't know what I'm doing or saying
But I do know.

I'm safe here
And so is my future.
It's void of you
Except in memory.

And you may say it doesn't have to be this way
And you may say this is an overreaction
And you may be right
But why would I put my future memories in jeopardy?
Your endorphin dose, no matter how strong is not worth
The risk. The pain.
I'd rather error on the side of caution
Because what am I losing? The love of a friend?
I never had that anyways.

And you may say that our relationship is different
You may say "I'm trying to change! I need you!"
And I'll say "good luck."
And mean it. And walk away.

And you may say that you don't care
And I'm prepared to never know if that is true.