there are nights in which my body plays cage the space we take up feels too much everything numbs and that feeling returns the one i can only describe as burning and we are merged and we are divided we are overly aware of our limbs yet we cannot feel them at all my body does not love me she returns making herself home in my belly and ******* there is something familiar about it something comfortable like sinking and floating at the same time the cold and the dark and the deep carrying me off to places unspeakable embracing me sealing me up as if i were a letter and it an envelope i am sent with no return address and my heart sighs the song of my wonder if this body will ever be mine