In my mind it’s so easy.
We meet by chance,
Fall in love,
Happy ending.

But reality is a different story,
It is one written by anxiety and pain.

I’m tired of being lonely.
I know there are friends there.
But I crave intimacy,
Affection.

It is hard though,
When every possible candidate is met with fear,
With anxiety over some day having to say no.
With some day having to walk on glass,
Because I have to say I don’t feel the same way.

I want to chase my fears with alcohol,
Get drunk and let the night roll.
But that’s what got me here.

It is not my duty or obligation to meet their demands,
To fulfill their needs,
And I refuse to let alcohol be their tool to use my body.