Crazy Cat Lady? Uh-uh!
I'm the Crazy Cat!
Come to mama, sweetie
let's have a little chat

need to get a few things straight
need to set some bounds
don't you worry 'bout my weight
I could use a few more pounds

so feed me several times a day
cream, cheese and tuna fish
beef pate and chicken stew
in stemmed fancy crystal dish

my bed is not nearly soft enough
it feels just like a Brillo
so I'll just have your bed
but I'll need a fluffier pillow

my collar, it has no pizzazz
it's such a drab old thing
I require one with jewels
my beauty demands some bling

if you agree to all these needs
I just might stick around
if not, well check these teeth and claws...

oh yes, I also want a diamond crown