There was a list of names
So many is lost count
Of each lover that tainted his lips
Whose skin he touched
Before touching my own
And each song he sang to me was from their album
And my shoes fell into their footprints
Why did I let him deconstruct every brick I had put together
Why did I gag on her breath for so long
Couldn't even remember what he tasted like
Because her strawberry chapstick was embedded on his lips
Her perfume on his clothes
And when I looked him in the eyes I swear her iris reflected back at me
Like he was seeing through me
Like they were always one step ahead
Like they were always the leading role and I an understudy
Why did I lock up my dignity and throw it away for so long
Thought if I could tuck in my demons they would rest easy
Put my thoughts on hold anytime there was something amiss
Why did I stay through every late night phone call that rang from her bedside table
And every lie he picked from his teeth
Why did I make a home in an unsafe place only to complain when my sanctuary was invaded
Why did I settle for a boy who simply did not want to be alone. And I was a shoulder on those rainy nights where his phone couldn't reach hers
And I was a mouth when hers was too far to kiss
And I was always second best
Giving myself up in battle for a man who commit treason