For so many years I have loved you.  For so many years I have longed to have you back. For so many years I layed dreaming, for so many years I woke up alone. I had too many years to make you exactly how I wanted you to be as I remembered you just the same.
My image of you was of my own perfection, all a fabrication in my brain.  Never stopping to realize the image I molded  of pure perfection would later become the destruction of my own demise. My expectations exceeded far beyond the reality awaiting me . Painting my own heart ache and shattered my every dream.
After so many years you returned to me, it was perfection for a while. As my dreams seemed to be coming true. Until that moment reality took it's toll, my life as I dreamed it spinning out of control.
Now I am faced with the book of my life in a fantasy world that I made myself believe, as things have gotten out of hand and left me to face reality. I find so hard to accept.  For I have no more wishes or wants or dreams left to come true, I used them all up when I spent so many years building this image of you.
Before I turn to the final page of my book, the one that reads, The End, I have to come to terms with myself and accept my own blame. Things may not have gone this way if I hadn't been living in a fantasy world and tried to live a life of pretend.

©kimmied1105