Sitting in the car side by side
I was looking outside at the night sky
We argued earlier, I didn't know why
But the thought of it made me cry.
My chest grew heavy
I couldnt keep myself steady
I kept thinking of us and other things I've dealt with.
I then break down.
My whole world was just spinning around and around
Just like a merry go round.
My eyes were filled with tears
Tears of fear
Fear that I knew what was coming and that I would lose myself again.
I sniffed,
Huffed,
And Puffed.
Trying to contain myself
Trying to keep my emotions at bay
I began to sob and there it was, the tears of a great waterfall
My befall
"What a mess I am" I tell myself
You get to see the ugliest side of me
The weakest side
The vulnerability of me
Which was obviously clear to see
I sobbed some more and felt your warm touch
Pulled me close and said " Hush .. "
" Im sorry. "
I felt secure
Felt your love
Your arms tighten around me as I fall more and more into millions of pieces
"Im safe" I said to myself.
Im okay.
" I love you " you say as you wipe my tears and kiss my nose
As I type this into my notes, my legs are over you as we are driven home
You rub my thighs and kiss me some more.
Whispering the sweetest innocent things into my ear.
I let out a sigh of relief.
I couldn't believe that you're here now.
As I lean my head onto your shoulder I whisper..
"Thank you for handling my messy breakdown."