If I could write a letter to the girl I used to be
When my friends felt more like paper dolls, and my notebook spilled black ink onto my hands and stained everything I loved
When I met that miracle with crossed eyes and spindle limbs, and decided to hang stars from her eyelashes
When it felt like my furniture had been moved two inches to the left, just enough to feel wrong, just enough to chaffe
I would tell that girl that I found God
And God was nothing like I thought
I would tell her that I met Him when my skin split open, like all the words I swallowed dry had crawled up out of my veins to show me what hurt really felt like
He was my razor, He was my blood, He was the sting of sweat in fresh cuts
That night I thought about you, little girl
I thought about all the reasons I didn't want to die
See, you don't know this yet, but you’re about to meet the family you never had
One lives in Texas but I swear, you’ve never felt so close to someone so far away
She will show you how to have faith in something bigger than yourself, and how warm it is to fill yourself with love
She will be the mother you thought you would never get to meet, and there's not a **** thing you wouldnt do to protect her
And the other one
You're gonna think she's somewhere else entirely, but one by one, the days sitting with her will feel more like home than where you sleep at night
Shes gonna show you how rage can be kind, and how to let the world roll off your back like drops of rain off stained glass windows
She is your brother, and a swiss army knife, and a lucky pair of brass knuckles
The world is gonna kick your ***, kid
You're gonna write it down with a pen fashioned from your bones
and you will never pause to look behind you