There was a time when I was willing to forgive you,
But that was a long time ago.
That was before I had terrifying horrors of you playing behind my eyelids as I slept.
That was before yelling came to send me into panic attacks.
That was before everything associated with you made me hurt.
That was before you said that I broke our family.
That was before you said you couldn't wait until I was gone.
That was before you said I liked wanting to die.
That was before you made me sob so hard my lungs felt like they were going to collapse.
Forgiveness is not an option here.
And for once, I am not sorry.
I will not apologize.
You hurt me.
You continue to.
And even though you say it will never happen again,
It does.
And you deny the pain,
And distrust you have caused.
But I guess that's okay, right?
Because I am a kid,
And you are a grown man.
My age makes my pain invalid,
And my *** makes me weak.
So it's all okay.
But never again,
not for another day,
Will you be my Dad.
You have no right to that name.
It has to be earned,
And you have never done anything but knock your opportunities down.
I will not break myself down to say you can hurt me for one more day,
Because maybe you will change.
Because you will never change,
No matter what you say.
So no,
I'm not sorry to say
That I am not willing to forgive.
That time of forgiveness
Was a long time ago.