My bleeding here like this - May it never stop until I have Taken my very last breath. And in that last breath may I Somehow take up my pen Thrusting it into my chest once again To make way for the release of that last Phrase which still anchors itself so ****** deep in my soul.
Oh, to feel it finally ooze from me Leaving me void of its painful control. Of which I both love it and I hate it too. Its double edged influence like God Himself on the one side giving me hope While the devil is on the other, The destroyer of all that I ever hoped. Oh dear Lord - is not my pen like A multi-cartridge-d vessel containing More than just one color?
At times to be blue When the pain of life draws out that color. Spilling all my tears To anyone within my reach. At other times my pen writes a crimson red, Letting go of all the love that is in me. Then to click it yet again to find the black Darkness that also lives somewhere in my soul. But there is another color, isn’t there Lord?
Yes, one so silky white in color That when I write in on this page No one can ever see it. That is, no one but you Lord. So if I leave a white page With my last dying breath Perhaps you’ll understand that it’s Just another note from me to you.
Pulling my pen from my bleeding heart While taking the last breath I shall write to you:
With the tidings of my fate squarely in your hands oh Lord, My bleeding has not quite yet stopped. Here you are to come to administer Whatever consolation of thy affection That thy Love has for me. Dear Lord, receiveth my parting breath And close my eyes within your blessings. And when I reawaken let me find myself Somewhere in the midst of your framework.
Thou hast undoubtedly numbered all of my tears And placed them in a bottle for safe keeping. Dear God, thou has always been the framework For all these words that I bleed upon these pages. They were all my fancy embracing my feeble knees Hoping to raise my eyes to bid me into your comfort. They are all my own blessings like the child within my heart. Never more so than when I am bleeding here like this In these words – only then do I feel your principles Ever present within me.
So take me Lord when my bleeding has stopped And please don’t be alarmed if even then My soul dips its finger into my own crimson jell And one last time with that finger I write
In the name of Love……
This is a repost. I think this is my favorite piece that I wrote many years ago. I still feel this way. Even when I’m not writing I’m always thinking of what to write. If you are as infected as I am about trying to express whatever this is inside of us all - I think you’ll appreciate this piece.