I can't tell you
That every single day
I wake up and I think
"Maybe today"
"Maybe I'll do it today"

Maybe today I'll end it
Write my goodbyes
Make a phone call
And then **** myself

I can't tell you
That I feel like half a man
That without her, I am missing
All the best parts of me

You don't understand
That for years, these demons
Have been in my head
And she saved me from them

She saved my life
I was going to die
Young, and at war
But she gave me hope

I can't tell you
That I am an inch away
From just drinking and drinking and drinking
Until I can't remember her face
Or her laugh, or how it felt to hold her in my arms

Until I can't remember how happy I was
Until I forget how she made me feel
How we would just stay in bed
And talk

I am so close to giving up
But I can't tell you that