Old Cowboys, forts and shootouts Black for bad and White for good With a spinning canvas background And cactus cutouts made of wood The desert sits behind them Fifty yards away at most The heroes don't ride horses They sip drinks and sit and boast About their celluloid adventures singing songs all dressed in white While behind them in the background The stunt men do it right A canvas background rotates Through valleys, hills and streams While the hero rides his deck chair And the director yells and screams Central casting fills the tribes out With Italians, and made up stock While our hero stops an avalanche Of fake paper covered rocks Cardboard Cut out Cactus And heroes smiling in the sun Most have never seen a cowpoke Let alone shot off a gun But, it's magic when it's finished the dusters up there on the screen All the fakery and snake oil Are all hidden, never seen The white hats beat the black hats The hero sings and gets the girl And the background on the spindle Is still spinning, watch it whirl A celluloid adventure Cowboys no where close to what they were But..watch the next show for a nickel And don't forget your spurs!!!