Sleeping on the top bunk
I got really good at crying
without making a sound.
Strong and resolute,
is what I aspired and pretended to be.
I never learned to fight,
let alone to fight fair.
There is no room for contention
between myself and I,
or anyone for that matter.
Now I seem to be left defenseless,
but can't tell the difference
between safety, security
and when I need to be defended.
Everything is easy,
everything is lovely.
Sleep instead of thinking,
like my mother before.