This anger slithers up to me
From across the room
I am helpless as it sinks it’s fangs
Right into my heart.
This is the violent anger.
The anger that boils my blood,
The anger that makes me want to tear my own skin off,
The anger that makes me want to break all the mirrors in my room and play in the glass.
This is also the anger that makes me want to punch you in the chest, so you can feel that pain just like I did,
This is the anger that makes me want to hit you in the stomach so you throw up, just like I did at 3 am, and 6 am, and again and again even though there was nothing there to begin with.
This anger leaves me clawing at my own skin
Chewing my lips until they bleed
Biting my fingernails until there is nothing but blood in my mouth.
But as this anger dissipates,
I remember why I could never hurt you
And I remember that hurting me is hurting you too
I don’t want to hurt you