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Feb 2018
I wanted so badly to cry,
Because it didn't feel right,
Since I should be seething with anger and drowning in melancholy,
But not a tear and not even the slightest fear,
Despite having chosen to disappear,
To let go of a good thing - one I hold dear,
Since distance I cannot bear,
For his absence is a cause of my despair,
Making me certain that love is a game where neither is playing fair;

So here I am at half an hour after midnight,
Trying to make sense of things in the only way I knew how,
Through words that bleed like ink of a broken penmanship,
From putting too much force,
When gentle strokes would've resulted in better flow,
Of thoughts and sense that says more,
About how feelings are not meant to be comprehended,
Through words that could easily be misconstrued,
Missing the mark with every character,
Because most only read what they want to hear;

Sometimes I kid myself into believing,
That perhaps I've always had it coming,
For I wear my heart on the sleeves of my favourite sweater,
As though it was the only way I know how to accessorise,
When fact of the matter is that I've other pieces worth showcasing,
That told more than just how I'm made up of feelings,
Too much in fact that I'm close to suffocating,
With hope that when I do there will always be someone ready to resuscitate me,
Taking me as his for all eternity,
Because I'm ready to jump rather than fall in,
Hoping to avoid the pain of breaking and entering,
A house I intend to make my home,
When there wasn't even room to rent in his listing.

@byizn
An old piece I almost posted as part of a Wattpad entry but decided it deserves a spot here instead.
Ili Norizan
Written by
Ili Norizan  29/F/Malaysia
(29/F/Malaysia)   
  405
   Khaliyah Keedah
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