i shouldn't be feeling this way
like the world is closing in
and i can barely breathe

tears shouldn't be forming my my eyes
my breathing shouldn't feel as heavy as it does
i should be smiling

i shouldn't feel numb
my eyes shouldn't be heavy and threatening shut
to close off the world for awhile because it's too much

i shouldn't be terrified
i shouldn't feel dead inside
i shouldn't be feeling like my heart is  a dead weight inside of my rib cage

i shouldn't
but i am
and i don't understand