I must admit
That I hadn't
Thought about our song
For quite a while now
But I would never forget it

I remember you playing it for me
Your amazing voice echoing across the walls
Of that small, somewhat creepy, practice room
I remember how I could feel
This energy between us that
Fueled those lyrics' creation

You've always been a beautiful writer
I was definitely jealous when I first read it
That day we sat in the library
You were supposed to be working
But we've always made our own rules

I wish I could explain
The hurt I feel while reading our past
So clearly plastered across this bright screen
Similar to how I feel
While replaying these memories
But it's complicated
And I've always been bad with my feelings

I'm sorry I've been quiet these days
I have other poems in the works
That might better explain where I'm at
But it doesn't mean I don't care

I reread your texts a lot today
Trying to decide if it's worth it
To engage in conversation
When it just always ends the same way
My feelings and thoughts
Could never agree
So I didn't say anything back

I'm listening to that song you sent me now
I wasn't sure what you meant by it
And I'm not fond of the sound
But I feel and think of you
When I hear the lyrics

And speaking of songs
My heart basically stopped today
Because my new Spotify
Includes a playlist with depressing music
And of course it played "I've Given Up on You"
It reminds me of you undeniably
But the title means something different this time

I don't want you to think that
I've given up on you
And assume that my silence
Means that I don't care
I love you
I always will
But you're also bad for me right now

Your aggression
While possibly justifiable
Hurts my soul and
Absorbs all of the energy
That I need
To take care of myself
And others

But I am still here
I'm a phone call away
I can't say we can be friends at this moment
Because it was harder for me
Than I had thought it would be

But don't think I don't remember
And don't think I don't care
Because you're still everywhere
From the music I vibe to
And the games I can't play
But more than anywhere else
You're in my thoughts and memories
And those still torture me