to treat you with anything other than the utmost kindness and love
is, in my eyes
the worst thing i could possibly do

i lash out at you in my mind
in speech it translates into slight annoyance
and even this is unacceptable

i walk on my own eggshells
i police my thoughts and language
if i say anything to hurt you i repeat it tenfold to myself

my dreams betray me
my thoughts betray me
you would never do such a thing to me

my thoughts of you
how dare they sour?
do i not realize how important you are to me?

my dreams of someone else
how dare they continue?
do i not realize how important you are to me?

the anger rises
not in you, but in myself
though it slips out of every crack that i can't cover

i don't deserve you
i don't deserve you
i don't deserve you

i want to hold you until my arms hurt
i want to protect you until you decide
i want to be with you forever

i want that to be enough