it ***** missing you
it ***** going home alone
it ***** knowing you may read this
or even more, that you won't.

I miss the nights I'd fall asleep
in front of the tv on your chest
it ***** I'll never see you smile
or stroke your hair in rest.

it ***** that my heart is breaking.
when I don't feel it, merely postponed
at night it comes creeping
or if I'm ever alone.

I miss you.
I'm sorry I couldn't be what you wanted me to be.

I'm sorry that I failed you,
and that in turn, I failed me.

I'm just not cut out for this
I knew I'd push you away
I knew I'd always run
even if I wanted to stay.

I'm just afraid.
Afraid, of falling too deep
of failure itself,
yet fallen and failed, I weep.

Over happiness and sadness
of things left unsaid,
of everything we shared,
and whose taking my spot in your bed.

And all those memories circling inside
my little ****** up head
I'm sorry that I broke us,
and that inside I'm dead.