i am trying

i am trying
i am trying
and i am trying

i want to forget
to have my chaotic mind
ereased to the very end

i want it pure
a white page
to be filled with good things

but most importantly

i want to erease you

i want to erease you and i
us

and i wanna erease the memories
that my heart holds
and the secrets
it unfolds

i am a starling
trying not to fly
i am a stallion
trying not to run wild

i want to forget all know
and create knew memories
of me
and of the world

but not of you
because it hurts too much
that you are no more than a dream
never to be real

and all i want to do
is draw in my page
is paint
is write
and is keep

you in my page
forever and more

you torment me with your memory
a chaos of sun
stars and rainbows
hope and want

but my page is not a machine
it was not wired up
i cannot reset
and neither can the matters of my mind

and neither the matter of you