The special speculative speculum examined an orifice one day. Upon its initial inspections it was clearly heard to say
'I've been in some holes before but this one takes the biscuit. I should go in a little deeper but don't know if I should risk it. For there is a blockage here, one I would rather not disturb. I should really try to describe it but I am struggling to find a verb. It was always going to happen, one day it would come to pass, when in would walk a patient with his head stuck up his ****'.