I want to **** myself so badly,
Yet I don't have the courage to do it.
I want to destroy myself so badly,
Yet I don't have the courage to do drugs or smokes

Why?
Am I serious on wanting to destroy myself?
Am I just bluffing?
Am I too coward?

Drugs can destroy me for sure
With this frail body
Smokes can also destroy me for sure
With this frail heart and lungs

But why?
Why I can't do it?
It's as if I want my body
To rot naturally.