Nov 2017
Friends fade.
I know this.
Why does it hurt though?
Knowing because of a decision I made,
My friendship is fading.
It wasn't a bad move.
I introduced her to another person.
Now her life is consumed by that other person.
She thinks because I've been here for three years
That it's okay to ignore me
Because I'll “Never leave”
Sure.
We will go with that.
I'll cry
I'll think about ending everything
I'll be dramatic
I'll take the poking and prodding
I'll take the “jokes”
I'll take the low blows
I'll take the teasing and the *******
But I'll be there
When she needs me I'll be there
But then I need her she tells me to find someone else
When I need her she tells me what I need to do
When I need her she tells me to **** it up
When I need her she tells me to stop crying
She's a pessimist
What am I expecting?
Nothing,
Anymore.
I'm an optimist.
At least I think I am.
Can I be an optimist when I feel like **** all day?
Can I be an optimist when all I want to do is die?
When all I want to do is never see anyone ever again,
Yet crave human connection?
Why do I care?
Why should I care?
People don't care about me
Why do I care about them so much?
Why should I care that because of me my best friend has new friends?
Why should I care that she does everything with her that she use to do with me,
Even just sitting in silence together.
That was our thing
Now it's theirs.
I shouldn't be angry
Or jealous
I should be happy
She found someone new
A newer, cooler version or me
Right?
She doesn't need me anymore.
She was the one to put the time limit on the friendship
Not me
When we get into arguments she says
The two years is past it's due.
Like we weren't supposed to be friends for this long
With this mentality
She doesn't try to repair
To fix
To care
I put in double the effort for something she doesn't want to fix
Because it's over the expiry date
Because
According to her
Our friendship is rotten
Something that shouldn't be
Something that is an anomaly in her life
And because of this she doesn't think she should care
That she shouldn't try
I know this.
Why does it hurt though?
Knowing because of a decision I made,
My friendship is fading.
It wasn't a bad move.
I introduced her to another person.
Now her life is consumed by that other person.
She thinks because I've been here for three years
That it's okay to ignore me
Because I'll “Never leave”
Sure.
We will go with that.
I'll cry
I'll think about ending everything
I'll be dramatic
I'll take the poking and prodding
I'll take the “jokes”
I'll take the low blows
I'll take the teasing and the *******
But I'll be there
When she needs me I'll be there
But then I need her she tells me to find someone else
When I need her she tells me what I need to do
When I need her she tells me to **** it up
When I need her she tells me to stop crying
She's a pessimist
What am I expecting?
Nothing,
Anymore.
I'm an optimist.
At least I think I am.
Can I be an optimist when I feel like **** all day?
Can I be an optimist when all I want to do is die?
When all I want to do is never see anyone ever again,
Yet crave human connection?
Why do I care?
Why should I care?
People don't care about me
Why do I care about them so much?
Why should I care that because of me my best friend has new friends?
Why should I care that she does everything with her that she use to do with me,
Even just sitting in silence together.
That was our thing
Now it's theirs.
I shouldn't be angry
Or jealous
I should be happy
She found someone new
A newer, cooler version or me
Right?
She doesn't need me anymore.
She was the one to put the time limit on the friendship
Not me
When we get into arguments she says
The two years is past it's due.
Like we weren't supposed to be friends for this long
With this mentality
She doesn't try to repair
To fix
To care
I put in double the effort for something she doesn't want to fix
Because it's over the expiry date
Because
According to her
Our friendship is rotten
Something that shouldn't be
Something that is an anomaly in her life
And because of this she doesn't think she should care
That she shouldn't try
Okay, I only write poems when I'm depressed
