I'm taking control
of the memories you left me with.
I'm taking away your power
to hurt me with your past self.
I'm holding the noose
around your neck,
white-knuckled,
and as *******
as hell after a rainstorm.

I won't bat away reminders of you
out of fear
anymore,
but because I choose to.
Your bad memories
won't stop me from holding
the man I love.

You don't get to ruin my life.

I couldn't stop you
from hurting me then.
But I can stop you
from hurting me.

I'm going to keep building a life
for myself,
because I **** well
decided to.
Not because the past
magically went away,
not because I was magically healed
of trauma...
but because I'm digging my heels in
and saying no.

I'm taking ownership
of my past relationship,
I'm taking ownership
of my mistakes.
I'm not locking them up
out of fear anymore,
not because I feel like
I'm a child again
and I can't protect myself,
but because I'm a woman
and I can,
and I'm angry,
and I own what has been done to me.
It's under my command.

I'm going to blaze into
my twentieth year
like a hornet
that had been trapped and shaken
in a jar,
who just had the lid removed.

I have ownership
over my brain.