Denial

I find out the precious life of yours is gone. Denial screams back into my head. No this is not true. You cannot be gone. I plead and plead on hands and knees crawling like a kicked puppy. All in my head of course. That's not the type of lady you want to be like. A faint memory of my grandmother scolding me. To me it fits the piece. How dare I show uncontrollable emotions in public. If public is considered my house that is. I excuse myself that is what a lady must do a reinforced thought on proper etiquette that crosses the line of mental abuse. I take a shower, the one place I can be left alone with my actual thoughts. No tears come because denial is the only friend that doesn't abandon me. I scrub and scrub my whole body. I do this it wash away the stains. The existance of you. And all that did remain. All the emotions that came from your lack of air. I hold my breathe to feel close to you. Useless I scream. Another part of me dies tonight. I deeply miss you. In ways that my feelings cannot express.

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Written by

JaneMarieCooper

21 / F / Boise Idaho

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