I find out the precious life of yours is gone.
Denial screams back into my head.
No this is not true.
You cannot be gone.
I plead and plead on hands and knees crawling like a kicked puppy.
All in my head of course.
That's not the type of lady you want to be like.
A faint memory of my grandmother scolding me.
To me it fits the piece.
How dare I show uncontrollable emotions in public.
If public is considered my house that is.
I excuse myself that is what a lady must do a reinforced thought on proper etiquette that crosses the line of mental abuse.
I take a shower, the one place I can be left alone with my actual thoughts.
No tears come because denial is the only friend that doesn't abandon me.
I scrub and scrub my whole body.
I do this it wash away the stains.
The existance of you.
And all that did remain.
All the emotions that came from your lack of air.
I hold my breathe to feel close to you.
Useless I scream.
Another part of me dies tonight.
I deeply miss you.
In ways that my feelings cannot express.