Oct 2017
Where do I go from here?
Here. Where is here? Where have I ended up?
At what point do I end?
Have I completed my journey? Please say I have.
Tell me that my sentence is over.
My time is done.
Tell me that I will not bear this pain -
That I will not have to feel,
the magnitude of these emotions,
for another second longer.
Please tell me that my suffering will end…
that if my journey is not over,
I will soon find peace within.
That these feelings won’t last.
I need to know that one day,
the tiredness will disappear…
I won’t be tired…of waking up,
to face another day of struggle.
I won’t be tired…of looking at myself,
noticing every flaw that exists.
I won’t be tired…of hating who I am,
never reaching my better self.
I won’t be tired…of worrying,
about how others are judging me.
I won’t be tired…of failing,
only accomplishing the next day.
I won’t be tired…of being hurt,
when I open my heart to others.
I won’t be tired…of hurting,
the people I love the most.
I won’t be tired…of disappointment,
it’s in every face that I see.
I won’t be tired…of surviving,
taking it one day at a time.
I won’t be tired…of living,
holding onto the hope of death.
I am tired of fighting,
and my strength is worn.
Where do I go from here?
Here. Where is here? Where have I ended up?
At what point do I end?
Have I completed my journey? Please say I have.
Tell me that my sentence is over.
My time is done.
Tell me that I will not bear this pain -
That I will not have to feel,
the magnitude of these emotions,
for another second longer.
Please tell me that my suffering will end…
that if my journey is not over,
I will soon find peace within.
That these feelings won’t last.
I need to know that one day,
the tiredness will disappear…
I won’t be tired…of waking up,
to face another day of struggle.
I won’t be tired…of looking at myself,
noticing every flaw that exists.
I won’t be tired…of hating who I am,
never reaching my better self.
I won’t be tired…of worrying,
about how others are judging me.
I won’t be tired…of failing,
only accomplishing the next day.
I won’t be tired…of being hurt,
when I open my heart to others.
I won’t be tired…of hurting,
the people I love the most.
I won’t be tired…of disappointment,
it’s in every face that I see.
I won’t be tired…of surviving,
taking it one day at a time.
I won’t be tired…of living,
holding onto the hope of death.
I am tired of fighting,
and my strength is worn.
Where do I go from here?
