I hope somehow through the “ether” she reads this so she knows what transpired during her last few hellish weeks. It was a new set of spiraling circumstances everyday and I truly did the best I could do to keep her alive, and when that seemed futile her comfort was paramount. And when her comfort was compromised, my god....my god....my god... that’s why I write this to you mom - in the hope that you understand. I so desperately wish I could have talked to you just once about this all. You stared at me penetratingly but not a word slipped through - I only saw you wince in pain. Lord alone knows how much you endured, how much you suffered - at the end - it is NOT about me but about YOU! I hope as a son - no matter what, I did right by you.