many people love being home alone... but me... i despise it...
many people have fun when they are home alone... but me... its just an entrance for my depression to come in and pester me...
many people think they are alone... but me... i know I’m not... the demons in my head keep me company....
many people watch tv or dance when they are home alone... but me... i put my headphones on and turn the music up so loud, hoping, I can’t hear my thoughts.
i stare at the drawer I put my medicine in. the medicine I have to take, because, the doctors said it would help.
i contemplate while i stare at the drawer.
my demons scream their lungs out, so loud they make my lungs shake, they make my body shake, they make me sick.
but you see, i was already sick. i have always been sick. I have an illness. most have this too.
this illness makes you think bad thoughts. this illness makes you wanna scream so loud, your house shakes. but that’s what you want, you want your house to crumble and fall. because all of those bad memories, oh those bad memories... they haunt you in your dreams. and they haunt you in reality...
the demons said I could end it all. the pills I have, just take enough and you forget it all. you won’t feel a thing. you won’t hear anymore yelling. you won’t see your life crumble and fall anymore.
it’s everything you ever wanted.