This constant checking, constant inspecting of every inch of my workspace, every inch of my home.

These demons in my head can't seem to leave me alone and I convinced myself that everything will never be okay.

I guess when you're living in hell, it's the price you have to pay.

It's just never ending and I'm so sick of overthinking.

I'm almost positive by now my brain is shrinking.

I barely eat anymore and I can't seem to ever sleep.

This blurry part of me is something I guess I'll always have to keep.

You said you could handle it and that you could help me, but darling you can't even help yourself let alone set my demons free.

I put my heart in your hands and trusted you with it, but that was like placing scissors in the hand of a curious child and expecting them to remit.

You tried so hard to always soothe me of my own pain.

You tried so hard to make my burdens yours and withdraw them all away.

I'm realizing now that if I were normal, maybe you would have stayed and it took me so long to collect my ghost back into my body, to restart this lifeless heart you handed back to 'just somebody.'

My dear, you never quite stopped all the screaming.

Things have gotten much worse since you ended my dreaming.