Because no one tells you that killing yourself is possible without actually dying. So you stay where you are, at 17, barely treading water and eventually you sink. And the only thing you can do at that point is drown. Nobody knows how hard you've been fighting and you're just so tired. See, everyone is too busy focusing on why you did it and questioning how you could be so selfish that nobody realizes you've been fighting a war against things that can't be seen. You were so young. The worst part is that nobody bothers to look for your body because everyone is too afraid of what might be at the bottom of your ocean.