There's a certain kind That holds you hostage Way up there in the bleachers In a red-light district Cold and cheap It lures you because you're lurable Attach and you're stuck up there In a certain kind Of dilapidated ivory tower
It's only later on When you're broken When the nights have woven Their history and the light Has drained Only when you're pushed out Only when you're shoved off Only then does the truth Begin to talk
Until then it's been silent Though gradually loosing appetite For despair, denial, dilemma Only when unhooked Does that fierce, quite dismissal Begin to beg for something else Only then does A certain other kind Begin to go wild for itself
You wonder how yourself Moldy and molting And mad with lies Had so deceived its own You wonder how If there is a god S'he coulda watched you bleed With self-betrayal And sat there idle While you slowly crumbled
But admit it You were terribly cocky up there In the pink and belly-full ***** and hookered If G O D woulda spoken You woulda spit in the face of divinity And you probably did
So that certain kind Watched and waiting For another Certain kind To choke the bejasus outa ya 'til you slowly faded to full stop And dropped to your knees To a certain other kind
I wrote this in 2011 after many many years of turmoil and personal upheaval. It was the first of many that followed.......I'd written songs but never much poetry up until then.........It was written during a passage and an awakening to the disowned parts of me that I'd suppressed all my life. IT's a hymn to the betrayal of self through a life only partially lived