No one is ever going to love you.

I tell myself these things because I know it's true.
The weight of possibly someone loving me gave me false hope.
I fell in love before, not even with someone I dated, but with someone I saw.
She isn't the girl I spent 5 years with.
She's the girl who brings me books, and calls me sweet names.

No one is going to love me.

She's the girl who makes my problems float above my head, almost invisible.
The smile I wear isn't fake.
When her hand holds mine, I feel like a giddy school girl.

No one will ever love me.

I'm not someone who has loving friends.
I'm someone who allows myself to be pushed.
My bones break, and my chest is tight.

She will never love me.

I pushed her away because my disorder and mind is too heavy to hold.
She will never invite me to hang out, or have fun.
I have to accept this.