I want to disappear and never surface
I want to wake up and not feel
I want to smile without an aching heart

Was this heart broken by me or had the world crumbled it's light?

I see the mirage of a future, a vibrant past but as I look around I see nothing but the blurry depths of the sea, currents pulling and pushing, water forcefully rushing down my throat, filling my chest as I struggle in reflex.

It was such a cold night, too cold to be alone.

I am a failure, one who'd given up on life and was given up upon and as my body sinks deeper into this dark abyss I prayed to God for warmth.

There were days I felt relief under the torrential rain, some, light headedness as sun rays kissed my skin. I was made euphoric with simple pleasures. And in that degree, I felt pain all the same.

I resigned to the sinking of my body and the lost of sight on this lonely path but just as much I was desparate for salvation.

With effort, I came up and was washed upon the shores. It was cold, too cold. Water came out of my nose and I coughed and heaved.