incoherent thoughts cloud my mind. i am like a spider who was never taught how to climb. thoughts of what could have been, our stupid, well thought out plans. the dull thud of a heartbeat next to mine, keeping a rhythm that isn't in time. desire and lust and everything that we had in between the two of us gone. left behind. like a piece of mold on a piece of white bread. "it's *******!" i scream as i listen to music that makes me think of you. and my purple walls in my dark room that were painted by our hands. together. a taste of something i feel as though i will never taste again. i look at the hole in the wall, and the broken ceiling fan. the picture of you on my desktop, an empty box of soda cans. and i can't seem to remind myself that there is always an end.