The blue was taken
out of the birds in the park
and put into my heart
with a cold as deep as
my room in the winter
when we didn't pay the bill.

The blue forces memories  
of the behavioral hospital

The Spiderman bedding
over my father's house

My mother's face covered
in poorly wiped tears
from hours of me lying
unconscious in the hospital

as she prayed silently,
and I said in the darkness
of my own head
"God doesn't do anything for atheists."