Does it count as a loss,
if you're never really sure
you had it to begin with?

Did I lose your love,
or was I just delusional
in thinking you ever loved me
anyway?

I'm sitting here
confused and shattered
over something
I now realize
I might have never had.

But
how could a love
I artificialized in
my own head seem
so
****
real
?

Call me pathetic
because I'll sit here
mourning my delusions
and pretending
that what we had was
worth it.