you see those numbers
big and ugly, on crumpled paper
and you feel them on your skin
like a stain on yourself, on
who you are, who you'll ever be

shame

it wraps its hot hands around you
its whispers harsh and sharp
in your ear:
"stupid. stupid. stupid"
your new heart beat, pumping
hot blood around your body
burning you on the inside
and you scream,
desperately wanting
to come out and be
someone else, someone smart
someone that just isn't you

you failed. this is it. you're done.
they were right about you.
you're just a stupid, ugly,
worthless. hopeless...

....Beautiful, brilliant
wonderful girl.
Your daughter looks away,
burning with embarrassment.
"You'll do well", you say,
"Just try your best.
And even if you don't
do as well as you'd like,
you'll still be my smart little girl"
"Thank you" she says, and disappears again
into her room, to study
You sigh, hope, pray, beg
That she believed you

More than you ever believed yourself