I recognize
the place
that place
inside
loathsome
& suffocating
I see the lost
look in your eyes
watery red glassy
I watch the feigned
joviality and sense
the aching loneliness
it tries to disguise... I
know the self-hatred
brings a death sentence
  lingering tortuous death
with conviction that it is
all that is deserved...you
place yourself on death
row and wait inside
the bottle
...