i wish i could be
what you want
or what you need.

i could be either,
but at this point
it would only seem
like i’m trying to win
you back, selfishly.

i wish i had told you
who i am.

maybe if i had told you
who i am
things would be different
now.

but it’s too late.

it’s too late for us,
too late for me
to tell you who i am.

so i’ll just scrub my skin
and wash my brain,
and try not rip at my flesh
because i don’t want
to cause you more pain.

i wish things were
different,
i wish things were
the same.

i want you to be happy,
i want to be happy too;
i wish i could be happy
with you.

i wish i could have
been myself
with you.