‪Sometimes my anxiety makes me retreat back into a dark cave where I don't talk to anyone and I try not to think about anything at all because if I do then all the other thoughts come rushing in and Im swirling and swirling and swirling in thoughts and I can't stop‬

‪So I retreat into my cave and I don't think and I don't talk and I don't do anything.

And the only thought I ever seem to let through for some reason is a depressing one.

I think about how I am wasting my short little spec of a lifetime hiding in a cave from myself and others and I feel guilty and sad and self conscious about all of my decisions.

My thoughts ******* out of my cave and I try to talk to someone. Not about my cave or about how I feel sad, but instead I ask them about them. People like to talk about themselves.

A quarter way into the conversation I start to doubt myself.

I question whether or not I am enunciating or maybe I am being creepy and asking about their life too much? Was it creepy that I asked her if her dog was still sick because she told me that last week and I don't know if she appreciates my remembrance or is unsettled by it.

My thoughts swirl around and around until I eventually just retreat into my cave again.