And sometimes when I'm with him I have to do a double take because the words that spill out of his mouth are the same words that fell off the tip of your tongue. Sometimes he reminds me of you and in those moments I feel as though I'm suffocating and I just wish you would release your grip on me. I'm trying to move on but I'm too afraid of making the same mistake twice. So when he opens his mouth and your  words fall off of his tongue, I'm scared of what we could become. I'm scared that he's going to be exactly like you and I refuse to put myself through that again- especially not after I've spent so much time rebuilding every wall I let you knock down. My walls are thicker now and I don't know how to let anyone in. I'm scared of loving someone again and having them turn out to be like you. And the worst part is it's not fair to him that I can't let him in.  It's not his fault I can't have a conversation about dating without feeling like I can't breathe. It's not his fault that having other people acknowledge the fact that we have a thing makes me want to end everything and run in the opposite direction. And it's not his fault that he deserves the world and I just don't think I can give it to him. It's my fault because I look at him and I see a glimpse of how i could get trapped in yet another toxic relationship.