The train window swallows mansions and fields and rivers and box-like houses as if all are mere stick figures

There are tears pressed behind my eyes, and they desperately want to jump from the red rims of my eyelids and end it all

End it all

The water pressure in my head has reached a point where the measurements start to break down, thoughts tossed turbulently into darkness and suddenly breathing water seems better than breathing air

My headphones crackle with music as I gaze at my fellow passengers in disbelief- the woman next to me is looking at shoes

Doesn't she get it? Don't they get it? How futile it all is? How beautifully endlessly painful and deadly life is?
I choke on rain when I close my eyes

The train roars forward in mechanical bliss with its destruction of the scenery outside

A boy is sitting across from me now. He leans closer and I catch death in his dark, empty eyes.
'And you thought you were going to be okay' he sneers.
My tears and water soaked brain are paralyzed into ice.
'My dear' he confides, wrapping me in his bitter, syrupy touch.
You will never be okay.*

He laughs, melting through the screeching train car
And my iced-over tears break
I know now he waits patiently on the train's tracks
And I fervently hope I will never meet him there