My roommate gets mad
furious even
because I tend to use
all the hot water.
When I take a shower
or just
wash my hands,
I turn the water to boiling hot.
I let it roll down my skin
and singe my scalp.
I used to be a person
who hated being hot.
I'd take cold or even
lukewarm showers.
It wasn't until I realized
I no longer felt anything
that I needed the water.
I needed the burns,
I needed the pressure.
Have you ever felt so empty
that you'd rather feel pain?

I do.