I am the ghost of relationships past
You can see I'm very busy, so many don't last
I haunt the hearts of the also-rans
I don't do it cause I can
No, it's with compassion
I understand the sorrow
That it won't go away
I offer solace, enough to say
Have hope and appreciation
Some understanding
For I too feel their hurt
You probably don't know
But we ghosts are built that way

Take the couple I just met
Penny is from heaven
Ted is the best
A good man at the core
But he strayed from the nest
They split-up
Both are now bereft

This is how I just worked that one
I whispered to them
That maybe she should forgive
And he should never forget
How wonderful life used to be
Perhaps it would be best
To talk again, to walk again along that garden path
Love can work on the rebound
But you've got to take that chance

I'm happy to report these fresh results
They've agreed to relate
Establishing romantic relations once again
They're going on date, on which I shall accompany them
To ensure that things go well
Then it's home to Mrs. Ghost
Whom I first met at the Heartbreak Hotel