i want to believe

you have no idea how badly
i want to believe

it's like a rush
of sugar when it first dissolves on your tongue
crystal and
so much, too beautiful

until suddenly it's
gone

fear
the antiserum
claims its place

like vultures
despair and sugar circle my head, make me
feel insane, a puppy chasing her tail

i, a storyteller and listener
i, in love with the sound of heartbeats pounding in time
i want so badly to believe
that we are going to be okay

but we're only
people,
compartmentalized
fragmented
edges of a
dying whole

the sweeping sadness bitter in my mouth
for all of us- loving and flawed
there is an undeniably real chance
we will be made victims to the end as we know it

Somehow, sugar doesn't taste quite as sweet as before