I can't **** myself because tomorrow I'm walking into town with my best friend in the middle of the school day and getting coffee, it's a special occasion
And the death of a friend never makes for very good present, especially not on someone's eighteenth birthday
I would never actually, I wouldn't know how and it doesn't make rational sense, but today was just so... I don't know, draining? Better out somewhere than inside, I guess. Tomorrow will be better, even if I have to force it to be, because it's a special birthday and I'm not going to let my head get in the way of that