I made scenes in my head in which I was stronger,
My words cut like knives and I was no longer afraid;
I had it all planned out, what I could have said 8 months ago
For now I keep it in because you don't deserve the energy,
but just know that you haven't beaten me;
Your insecurities brood like curdled milk and they surfaced in the summer; feeding off whatever looked your way, latching on to diminish the pain of your past.

I understand. You hate yourself so you hurt others.
Your suffering is not unique and your tactics are weak,
twenty one years old with a heart of pavement;
how does it feel to always be chasing something that you know you'll never find? you waste all of your energy trying to consume mine.

But I am up here, twenty years old and no longer full of fear,
you hate yourself and I see through it,
you burn your bridges so no one else can do it,
I don't sympathize as I won''t toast to that; another pill you'll slip me if I put my trust back,
but just know you're transparent, it's really embarrassing.

I could have said it months ago but no one else was listening.
I fought you back in my head and that's enough for me,
I don't have to win to feel undfeated