Sometimes I dream so much
That it feels like I didn't sleep at all.
And I wake up with dark circles
And bags under my eyes.

And these dreams
Rapidly develop into nightmares,
And the most recent
Was where I lost you.

It's true,
Most of my nightmares are
Flashbacks
Or about losing you.

And the weight of hatred
In your gaze
Crushed my rib cage,
And I've never felt
Anything so painful
As to the words
"I don't love you,"
No physical hurt
Could compare
To the crushing sentiment
Of being outdated.

And while I am aware
It was just a dream,
It's driving me mad,
It seems.

And he wanted me to break,
He wanted me to be broken down
And damaged.
That was the intent behind his destruction
Of me.

Here I am, then.
Broken down,
Just like he asked.

My hardest days,
Are when I back track like this.
I've come so far,
I'm so much better than I was.

But today, I'm still pretty fragile,
Because my mind has been tainted
And my heart
Is still in partial fragments.

How you love it,
I have no idea.

But I trust
That you must,
Since you've stayed,
No matter my hardest days.